my mum tells me lots of people from my ward in magnolia have been asking about me and how i'm doing. the truth? I'M DOING DO GREAT!!!!:):) for real, i LOVE it here! a couple posts ago i was talking about how i was homesick...well i found the remedy for homesickness at college. wanna hear? FHE families. when my sister and friends used to tell me about their FHE families, i thought they were just some people you hang out with every monday night. they're not. they're so much more than that. i hang out with my FHE family ( well, most of them ) every single weekend. friday night, saturday night, sunday at church and monday night. the connection i have with them is what got me out of that rut i was in.
which reminds me about that calling i mentioned earlier :) i'm FHE leader!!!! there's an FHE dad and an FHE mom. i'm the mom!!! the dad is josh which is the best because josh and i get along so well which makes our calling just the best thing ever! we're in charge of FHE on monday nights. we assign who does what and all that jazz. i love my calling more than strawberries and whipped cream (which is a bunch and then some)!! there are 16 people in my group, my apartment of 6 girls, a dorm of 4 girls, and an apartment of 6 guys. josh and jared came over today to give thais a blessing because she was tossing her cookies (we found out it was because she ate bad strawberries) and i realized how good it is to have guys that you can just call up and ask for help. it's different in home ward because all the guys are married with kids and you don't wanna take them away from that, but here, we actually love having them come over for whatever reason. i could go on about these amazing people forever, but i won't. so for now i'm just gonna go get ready for bed because i'm super duper tired.
by the way, thais and i have a zillion and two videos that we've been making since school started and i couldn't get them to post on this thing till now so be ready for lots of videos over the next few days! gotta catch up!
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
a day of events
one of the many things i love about this school is devotional. devotional is on campus in the BYU-I Center every tuesday at 2:10 pm. all the students are encouraged to go. there's a different speaker every week and it's amazing! today, elder L. Tom Perry, an apostle of the Lord, came to BYU-I and taught the devotional. insane much? yeah. it was so incredible to be in the same room, watching an apostle teach us. and that wasn't the only thing that occupied my mind all day...i've never told anyone the story of the day my dad walked out, but i figured the only people reading this will be the people who deserve to hear the story after all these years.
today, three years ago, my dad walked out. it was just a couple months before my 16th birthday. i had known for about a week what would be happening on that day. saturday january 24, 2009 at 11:15 am, i sat in my room, looking out my window, watching my dad leave. that was the most conflicting day of my entire life. i didn't like my dad so i was so relieved to see him leave, but at the same time, my dad was leaving my family and i didn't understand why. as i watched my dad go, i was listening to Paramore's remake of the song, "my hero" which is ironic if you ask me. listen to the song and you'll know why. my mum was the young women's president at the time and that same day was priest/laurel conference so my mum and my brother had to leave right after my dad to go to that. i was 15, home alone, angry, confused and scared as heck. i also had an english project due that monday for my pre-ap english class. among all those emotions and things to do, what did i do? i grabbed my MP3 player, a sweater and went outside.
we lived in the middle of the woods and at first i hated that, but then i realized that on cloudy, rainy days, it was the best place to be. and that's what the weather was on that saturday morning. i love overcast and rain and i thought that was God's way of comforting me. my dad bought an RV when i was 12 and it sat in our yard in TX becuase it couldn't reverse. that morning, my dad hired a tow truck to get it out of our yard and take it where he wanted it. i walked outside and stood in the spot where the RV used to sit. it was quiet outside except for the rain hitting the leaves. the forest was really green and peaceful. there was a clearing in the woods that i loved to sit in when i had a lot to think about or when it was raining. i went over to that clearing and stood there, looking at the trees and the leaves on the ground. i wasn't thinking about anything in particular, i was actually trying not to think. after standing there for awhile, i went to the giant clearing behind our house and walked along the line of trees that boardered the clearing. i started walking on a path that i found in the trees, but when i saw some weird animal in the trees, i quickly decided i didn't wanna die and went back inside.
today, i was in science class at 11:15 texas time. i had this weird, overwhelming desire to go back in time. i thought that maybe if i ran fast enough, i could transport back to the day and time of when my dad left. believe it or not, i WANT to relive that day. well, i want to watch it...but i wouldn't do anything differently, i'd just sit and watch the whole thing again. that sounds messed up, but that day was so important to who i am right now. if that day didn't happen, i'm so completely convinced i wouldn't be at BYU-I right now. i would be a totally different person and i don't think it would be for the better. my family went through so much after that day and i wonder all the time how i made it through all of that stuff and came out the way i did. if i went through all that stuff now, i don't know what i'd do.
i'm not sure why, but this year i've thought a lot about january 24, 2009, but this year, there are less tears. now for THAT, i know why. it's because everything i've been through the couple years before my dad left up until now have shaped me into the person i am now. i'm so happy with where i am in life. i love who i am and what i'm doing. the people who have been close with my family for the past 5 years know exactly what i'm talking about and i'm sure they completely agree with me.
it's funny because the day my dad left, it was cloudy and kind of rainy. every year after that day, on january 24, it was cloudy in magnolia. i called my mum this morning while i was getting ready for class and asked her what the weather was. her reply? "it's super cloudy and rainy". it's been cloudy and rainy on January 24 for the past 4 years. remember how i said that i thought Heavenly Father made it cloudy to comfort me? well, now i think He makes it cloudy every year on that day in rememberance of that event. call me crazy. it was even cloudy in rexburg today! well, that's all the time i have today to write. thanks for reading!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kq-DhjidQxk
this is the song i had on repeat as i was walking around outside. to this day, i still listen to this song when i feel sad or confused about something.
today, three years ago, my dad walked out. it was just a couple months before my 16th birthday. i had known for about a week what would be happening on that day. saturday january 24, 2009 at 11:15 am, i sat in my room, looking out my window, watching my dad leave. that was the most conflicting day of my entire life. i didn't like my dad so i was so relieved to see him leave, but at the same time, my dad was leaving my family and i didn't understand why. as i watched my dad go, i was listening to Paramore's remake of the song, "my hero" which is ironic if you ask me. listen to the song and you'll know why. my mum was the young women's president at the time and that same day was priest/laurel conference so my mum and my brother had to leave right after my dad to go to that. i was 15, home alone, angry, confused and scared as heck. i also had an english project due that monday for my pre-ap english class. among all those emotions and things to do, what did i do? i grabbed my MP3 player, a sweater and went outside.
we lived in the middle of the woods and at first i hated that, but then i realized that on cloudy, rainy days, it was the best place to be. and that's what the weather was on that saturday morning. i love overcast and rain and i thought that was God's way of comforting me. my dad bought an RV when i was 12 and it sat in our yard in TX becuase it couldn't reverse. that morning, my dad hired a tow truck to get it out of our yard and take it where he wanted it. i walked outside and stood in the spot where the RV used to sit. it was quiet outside except for the rain hitting the leaves. the forest was really green and peaceful. there was a clearing in the woods that i loved to sit in when i had a lot to think about or when it was raining. i went over to that clearing and stood there, looking at the trees and the leaves on the ground. i wasn't thinking about anything in particular, i was actually trying not to think. after standing there for awhile, i went to the giant clearing behind our house and walked along the line of trees that boardered the clearing. i started walking on a path that i found in the trees, but when i saw some weird animal in the trees, i quickly decided i didn't wanna die and went back inside.
today, i was in science class at 11:15 texas time. i had this weird, overwhelming desire to go back in time. i thought that maybe if i ran fast enough, i could transport back to the day and time of when my dad left. believe it or not, i WANT to relive that day. well, i want to watch it...but i wouldn't do anything differently, i'd just sit and watch the whole thing again. that sounds messed up, but that day was so important to who i am right now. if that day didn't happen, i'm so completely convinced i wouldn't be at BYU-I right now. i would be a totally different person and i don't think it would be for the better. my family went through so much after that day and i wonder all the time how i made it through all of that stuff and came out the way i did. if i went through all that stuff now, i don't know what i'd do.
i'm not sure why, but this year i've thought a lot about january 24, 2009, but this year, there are less tears. now for THAT, i know why. it's because everything i've been through the couple years before my dad left up until now have shaped me into the person i am now. i'm so happy with where i am in life. i love who i am and what i'm doing. the people who have been close with my family for the past 5 years know exactly what i'm talking about and i'm sure they completely agree with me.
it's funny because the day my dad left, it was cloudy and kind of rainy. every year after that day, on january 24, it was cloudy in magnolia. i called my mum this morning while i was getting ready for class and asked her what the weather was. her reply? "it's super cloudy and rainy". it's been cloudy and rainy on January 24 for the past 4 years. remember how i said that i thought Heavenly Father made it cloudy to comfort me? well, now i think He makes it cloudy every year on that day in rememberance of that event. call me crazy. it was even cloudy in rexburg today! well, that's all the time i have today to write. thanks for reading!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kq-DhjidQxk
this is the song i had on repeat as i was walking around outside. to this day, i still listen to this song when i feel sad or confused about something.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
tis pinterest time:)
my absolute favorite quote!
i have a crazy obssion with wanting everyone to like me. it's an unrealistic obsession, just so you know.
for those that know me very well know that i've been single for a very long time. i always thought there was something wrong with me until i took a step back and really looked at the situation. my mum is the one who convinced me that there's nothing wrong with me and i found this quote shortly after i began believing her.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Sunday, January 15, 2012
today made up for it though because today was awesome! it was mine and thais' first sunday at our ward here (last weekend we were in provo). our ward is pretty big, in my humble opinion, and all i could think about was, "holy crap, when i give a talk, i'm gonna die." after sacrament, we socialized with some of our FHE brothers. they're amazing and i love all of them already even though we've only met once before. we sat behind them in sunday school and i got called out by someone in the bishopric and i got a calling!!! i'm SOOOOO excited about it!!!!!!! but i'm keeping it on the DL until i get set apart ;) those things helped get me outta this muck i've been in.
honestly, i haven't been on pinterest for weeks which is a big deal for me! ha i like to see all the ideas on there but i'm never gonna set up an account because i just like to browse:) but i got on today i found the picture above and it helped me realize that this is where i want to be. BYU-I has been a dream of mine for years and now that i'm actually here, i'm not gonna let some homesickness get me down.
we don't have classes tomorrow which i'm so excited about because i have some homework to catch up on! until then i'm gonna go get ready for the fireside tonight!
Monday, January 2, 2012
here we go!
right now, it's monday January 2nd 2012. 1:08 in the morning!! i can't sleep for 2 reasons. 1- i've been staying up till 2 in the morning for the past week and a half for no reason and sleeping in till noon every day. it's wonderful but it must stop! ha reason 2 is that i'm moving into my college apartment in a few hours. i was telling my sister that today is the first day of my forever. some people say that forever starts when you get married. well, i think there are a bunch of different 'forevers'. tomorrow marks the forever of...my independent life, i guess. i'm moving into my first apartment, i start college classes on wednesday, i'm buying groceries for myself. the list goes on and on but at the end of the day, i wasn't doing all this stuff when i was living with my sweet mum!
well, this is a short entry, but i'm sure i'll have plenty to say after tomorrow!:) i'm going to watch One Tree Hill on netflix till i get sleepy enough to sleep which better be soon! gotta give a good first impression to my future tomorrow...no pressure:)
well, this is a short entry, but i'm sure i'll have plenty to say after tomorrow!:) i'm going to watch One Tree Hill on netflix till i get sleepy enough to sleep which better be soon! gotta give a good first impression to my future tomorrow...no pressure:)
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